The Campfire Song
by Lillienne
Summary: The Kenshin-gumi spends a night in the woods...and things happen. A really silly, pointless little story, actually.


**The Campfire Song**

* * *

Many Rurouni Kenshin stories have remained to be untold.

Like the one where Sano finally paid all the money he owed. That story involves alcohol, gambling, a trip to a ninety-year old shaman with a pet turtle and, curiously enough, an albino llama. In fact, that story is a very good story.

However, this is not that story.

Be forewarned that the story I wish to tell you is not particularly interesting nor particularly dramatic or humorous. It isn't even remotely logical, for that matter.

But it is a story nonetheless I wish to tell you because...well, you will find out at the end of the tale.

And so I will begin this story by telling you that the Kenshin-gumi was on their way back to Tokyo from some adventure that involved the standard bad guys and turnips.

The Kenshin-gumi was making their way back home on foot because once again, Kenshin lost all their money due to a hole in his favorite magenta gi.

This of course meant that they could not afford to stay at an inn that night. Not that there was any inn nearby, anyway.

But on with the story.

They'd been walking through the woods for hours and it looked like it would get dark soon.

"Sessha thinks we should stop here for the night," Kenshin said to the group.

Kaoru looked around the woods, "Are you sure Kenshin? We can still walk you know, I'm not tired."

"Speak for yourself busu, I'm tired!" Yahiko said, plopping himself on the ground.

"The brat's got my vote, Jou-chan," Sano said, leaning against a tree trunk, chewing on a fish bone.

Kaoru looked at Kenshin pleadingly. She didn't like the dark very much. Especially when she was in the woods where there could be wild animals.

The rurouni smiled soothingly, "Don't worry Kaoru-dono, we'll be fine."

"But what if there are wolves out here?" she asked.

"You're not Red Riding Hood, are you?" Sano asked.

"Who?" she asked back.

"Never mind...'sides the only wolf we know, is back in Tokyo..." Sano muttered.

Kenshin's eyes briefly glimmered amber at Sano's mention of The Wolf of Mibu.

"But what if there are bears out here?" Kaoru asked again, looking around.

"There aren't any bears in Japan, Kaoru," Sano said to her.

"Actually, that's not true. There is a species of bears that live in Japan," Yahiko said.

Standing up, he said in his best documentary commentator voice, "The Asiatic black bear is a medium-sized bear dwelling in forests in Pakistan and in Korea and the islands of Japan. The bear is characterized by a black, shaggy coat and a light-colored mark on its chest."

Kaoru and Sano looked at him, their jaws gaping

"How'd you know that?" Sano asked suspiciously.

Yahiko shrugged his shoulders, "Lillienne told me."

Sano took that information with a shrug of his shoulders, "Okay."

Kaoru opened her mouth, but before she could say anything Kenshin said, "Minna-dono, we should look for wood to make a campfire, de gozaru."

They headed in different directions to look for the wood to build the fire.

Kaoru kept close to Kenshin, looking furtively to the left and to the right to spot any wild animals lurking in the shadows. It was getting considerably darker and eerier in the forest.

When she stepped on the twig and it broke with a loud snap, Kaoru flung herself at Kenshin, who uttered a surprised, "Oro!"

Kaoru tightened her grip around and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"I don't like the dark," she murmured.

Kenshin felt her warm breath on his skin as she spoke and found himself thinking that he really liked the dark. x 00x

"Hmm, Kenshin's got a really great body," Kaoru thought as she felt Kenshin's lean muscled body press against hers...or was she pressing against him? She really didn't care...this felt really nice...she sighed, rubbing her cheek on that smooth expanse of skin that was exposed by the vee of Kenshin's gi.

Kenshin enjoyed the feel of Kaoru in his arms, but was getting concerned that if she would continue rubbing her cheek so sinuously against his skin, he might like it too much and something might tell her exactly how much he liked it.

"Jeez, get a room you two!" Yahiko yelled, firewood in his arms.

The couple jumped apart. Yahiko couldn't tell who was blushing redder. He rolled his eyes, turned and walked back to the campsite.

"Idiots," he muttered.

Not that he did not want Kenshin and Kaoru to end up together. He was all for that.

He just didn't think it was appropriate for them to...he didn't know exactly what people in love did together... maybe he should ask Sano about that.

Sano had already made a neat pyramid of twigs and branches. He reached into his pocket and took out a box of matches.

"Lillienne give you those matches?" Yahiko asked, as he deposited his wood near Sano.

"Nah, I swiped them from Saitou..." he said as he lit a match and held it to the pieces of crumpled paper.

"Where'd yah get the paper?"

"Lillienne. Said she didn't need them anymore...some manuscripts or something..."

Sano watched as the paper burned up quickly, the flames transferring to the smaller, drier kindling.

"Manuscripts," Yahiko repeated, "Big word."

Then the two sat there staring at the flames, as if that could keep the fire burning.

That's how Kenshin and Kaoru found them a while later, as they came back to the camp.

There was a careful distance of exactly one yard between them, neither one looking at nor speaking to the other.

Kenshin deposited his firewood on the pile of wood Yahiko'd made. Then he turned to Kaoru to take her load. They painstakingly tried to avoid touching each other.

"What's for supper?" Yahiko asked, oblivious to the tension he had a hand in creating.

Kaoru just realized they didn't have any food. She was about to ask Kenshin what they should do when she saw the rurouni handing out small sacks.

He handed her a sack and as she opened it she saw that it contained some weird looking flakes.

"What's this?" she asked, seeing the others busily stuffing their faces with those flakes.

"Trail mix, de gozaru," Kenshin said, getting another handful and stuffing it into his mouth.

"And what is it exactly?" Kaoru asked suspiciously.

Sano stopped long enough from stuffing his face to say, "I don't care Jou-chan. But it tastes better than anything you've ever cooked."

In a second, Sano was flat on his back. With a scowl, Kaoru looked at the other two, but they seemed very engrossed with their own bags of food.

Giving the unconscious Sano a last menacing look, she sat down and took a handful of her own trail mix and put it in her mouth.

Chewing, she thought, "That tori-atama was actually right. It does taste better than any of my cooking."

They sat there, eating their meal in silence, until Yahiko started coughing and making choking noises.

Kenshin quickly handed him a canteen and Yahiko drank greedily from it.

"Thanks," he said to Kenshin, as he wiped his mouth.

"Don't thank me de gozaru..." Kenshin said to the boy.

Yahiko grinned, "Yeah, she thinks of everything, doesn't she?"

Before Kaoru could ask her question, the now conscious Sano said in a cheery voice, "Let sing a campfire song!"

Kenshin and Yahiko perked up, smiled excitedly and said, "Okay!"

Kaoru looked at the two. Confused, she looked back at Sano, who was holding a guitar now.

"Where'd you get the guitar?" she asked him.

"From Lillienne," Sano said, softly strumming the guitar.

"And who's Lillienne?" she wanted to know.

Yahiko rubbed his nose, "She's an imaginary friend of ours..."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin to make some sense of this, but the rurouni just smiled and said, "Hai, hai, de gozaru. Lillienne-dono is an imaginary friend of ours."

"Okay," Kaoru mouthed as she shrugged her shoulders.

Sano made a few adjustments with the guitar. Then he looked at the others, "Shall we sing?"

"Yes!" Kenshin and Yahiko shouted.

"Okay, then here we go...

Let's sit around the campfire and sing our campfire song.

Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song

And if you don't think that we can sing it faster then you're wrong.

But it'll help if you just sing along."

"Pum, pum, pum" Kenshin and Yahiko went.

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG  
OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG."

"Now you try!" he pointed at Yahiko and Kenshin

"C-Ca-M-Fitre" they sang

"Good!" Sano shouted

"Now you Jou-chan!" he pointed at Kaoru.

She just looked at him funny.

"Also good," he shouted

And in an Elvis/rock-star-doing-the-big-finale pose, Sano sang:

"But it'll help... it'll heh-elp... if you just sing aloooooong. Yeah...thank you very much!" and smashed the guitar.

Then silence descended over the gang.

The fire crackled cheerily as the four kept staring into it, hypnotized by the flames.

Then something big and dark flew by, making a whooping sound, and Kaoru half shrieked in surprise.

"Relax, Kaoru-dono, it's just an owl," Kenshin said soothingly.

But Kaoru kept an eye on the dark canopy of trees, looking out for anything that could attack them.

"We should take turns guarding the fire," Sano said.

"Okay, do we do it individually, or do we do it in pairs?" Yahiko asked, as he placed more kindling onto the fire.

The flames became brighter for a second, before it ate up the newly added wood.

"We should do it in pairs, I think...wacha think Kenshin?" Sano turned to the rurouni.

"In pairs is fine, Sano," the redhead replied.

Yahiko rubbed his nose, "The tori-atama and me...you and busu..." but he couldn't finish the sentence, Kaoru knocked him out cold.

"Disrespectful brat," she muttered.

"The brat and I'll take the first shift...you and Kaoru get some shut-eye," Sano said to his friend.

"Sessha doesn't really need to sleep de gozaru..."

Since Kaoru didn't want to go to the makeshift beds they made and sleep alone, she bravely said, "I don't need to sleep either..."

Sano rolled his eyes, "'Fer crying out loud Jou-chan you need to sleep, there's still a long way we have to walk tomorrow!"

"But I don't want to sleep alone over there," Kaoru said in a panicky voice.

Sano sighed, "Kenshin, go sleep with her."

Yahiko, who was conscious again, asked, "Why're they blushing?"

"Grown up stuff," Sano replied, stoking the flames with a long stick.

That reminded Yahiko of the question he wanted to ask Sano.

"Uhmm, Sano?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Ummm...what do men and women who're in love do with each other?"

Something hard hit Yahiko in the head, and he could distinctly hear a muttered, "Hentai brat!"

"Never mind," he muttered to Sano.

A few hours passed by. Sano and Yahiko tried hard to keep their eyes open but the stillness of the night and the hypnotic dance of the flames made them sleepy.

They'd run out of interesting topics to talk about an hour ago, so they were quietly sitting there waiting for their shift to end.

A loud snap coming from the bushes startled them and they sat up to look in the direction the noise had come from. There was something moving in the bushes.

"What is it?" Yahiko whispered.

"I don't know," Sano whispered back.

"Maybe you should go see what it is," Yahiko said, still whispering.

"Why don't you go?" Sano whispered back.

"Why're we whispering?" Yahiko changed the subject.

"I don't know, you started it!" Sano whispered.

"You're still doing it," Yahiko whispered back.

"Shut up and go see what's making that noise!" Sano said to the boy.

Yahiko looked at him rebelliously, "Why do I have to go?"

"Because wild creatures don't eat annoying little brats!"

"Don't call me little!" Yahiko stomped his foot like a five-year old.

"Will you just go?"

The boy turned, pouting, "Fine! I'll go."

"I know now why they call him chicken-head...that big chicken!" Yahiko grumbled as he made his way to the bushes.

They were still rustling and Yahiko slowed his steps. He picked up a long stick lying nearby and cautiously approached whatever that was in the bushes.

He could see something moving but he could not exactly make out what it was.

Without really thinking what he was doing, he prodded the creature with the stick.

It elicited a loud, startled shriek. Yahiko dropped the stick in surprise. The creature turned towards him.

They looked at each other for a split of a second, before Yahiko turned and ran back to the camp screaming his head off, the creature right on his heels. It was eliciting the most unearthly shrieks any person had ever heard.

Sano stood up in alarm at the commotion. He was ready to take on whatever that was shrieking so loudly.

Yahiko, who wasn't really looking where he was going, ran into Sano, knocking the man on his butt. At the same time, the hiss of a sword being drawn from its sheath could be heard and they both turned their heads to see Kenshin standing there, in battle mode.

They turned to face the creature that had been chasing Yahiko.

Sano thought he was ready to take on whatever creature had been chasing Yahiko.

But he had been wrong. He wasn't ready to face this creature. This creature put terror into his soul.

He looked at Kenshin for help, but the redhead just stood there staring open-mouthed. He looked at Yahiko, but the boy just stood there shaking in terror or horror, Sano could not determine.

He looked back at the creature. The creature spoke.

"You dirty little brat! I'm going to kick your butt so hard you'll be walking crooked for the rest of the year! You smut-brained perverted little worm! I swear I'm going to kill you and when you're dead I'm going to kill you again! And then I'm going to haunt you in the after life and I am going to make the experience so miserable for you, you will wish you were never born so that you could have never died, you little toad!"

Kaoru suddenly had her hands around Yahiko's neck and was chocking and shaking the boy so hard that his teeth rattled. And just as abruptly she let him go and the boy collapsed in a terrified puddle.

She gave the unconscious Yahiko the evil eye. It was a scary sight to behold.

Sano wisely took a step back from Kaoru, while Kenshin just stood there his sword still in his hands.

Kaoru's breath seemed to become calmer so Kenshin took courage in approaching her. He took a step towards her while re-sheathing his sword.

"Ano...Kaoru-dono...uhm...what happened?"

Kaoru's head turned so fast that Kenshin could feel the whiplash in his neck.

"That little hentai was watching me!"

"Uhmmm....doing what Kaoru-dono?"

Kaoru gave him a narrow, dirty, evil eye look. Kenshin both blushed and paled, if that was humanly possible.

"We thought you were a bear," Sano said, quite stupidly.

Kaoru's face whipped in his direction, "What?!?"

"Nothing...nothing...nothing..." Sano hastily backed away.

"Not a bear...a tanuki... a horrible, evil tanuki," Yahiko whispered from the ground.

Kaoru looked down at him and because of the look in Kaoru's face, Yahiko decided that he should spend the rest of the year unconscious. He closed his eyes to faint.

"Uhmm...minna-dono..." Kenshin said somewhat distractedly.

"What?!?" Kaoru shouted at him.

Kenshin was looking at something, his eyes wide.

Kaoru turned to see what he was looking at. Her eyes widened.

Sano turned to see what they were looking at. His eyes widened.

Yahiko was wisely still unconscious.

They were looking at the biggest specimen of a bear they had ever seen. Not that they had seen many bears before.

The bear had a black, shaggy coat and a light-colored mark on his chest.

It wasn't doing much, really. He was just walking around on his four massive paws, sniffing at things here and there, grunting a bit. But ever so often, he would look at the tableau of people, cock his head as if trying to figure out something.

Or debating with himself the merits of eating them. Never mind the fact that he was mostly herbivore, preferring nuts and berries over meat.

But the three people gaping at him did look like nuts, every pun intended.

On the other side, the three gaping and one unconscious people were wondering what they should do.

"What should we do?" Kaoru said out the side of her mouth.

"I don't know!" Sano said.

"Sessha thinks we shouldn't move," Kenshin contributed.

"Okay," Sano and Kaoru said.

So they did just that. They didn't move. They stood there in wide-eyed, frozen fear, mentally telling the bear to go away.

The bear gave them another one of those thoughtful looks. He looked at the skinny small person, then at the skinny tall person, then at the other skinny person with the odd red hair. Then decided they weren't worth it. And just as calmly as he had walked into their camp, he trotted away.

The gang waited until they couldn't see the bear anymore. Then they waited some more, just to be safe. And then collectively, they gave a sigh of relief.

The three looked at each. And then the laughter came.

It was loud laughter. Very loud laughter. An incredibly relieved, I-can't-believe-we-just-saw-a-bear-and-made-it-out-alive bordering on the nearly hysterical laughter.

Hearing the sound, Yahiko thought it a good time to rejoin the conscious world. He opened his eyes, stood up and joined in the merriment.

They laughed so hard they cried. This made them laugh again. Their bellies were cramping, but they just kept right on it.

And just as suddenly, they stopped. And thought about how lucky they were to be alive.

The somber mood had been going on a while when Yahiko suddenly opened his mouth.

"You know, that bear did look like a long lost uncle of busu's."

That night, Yahiko became the first person ever to fly all the way to Tokyo.

There was a point to this story, but it has eluded the writer for now.

The End.

* * *

A/N:

The bear information was copied from Encarta Reference Library.

The Campfire Song was originally sung by SpongeBob Squarepants. I must state here that I don't own the song or him.

All the characters in the story, _except for the bear that I've adopted and named Seymour_, don't belong to me either.

I make no claims of being talented, logical or funny.

You can flame me, I don't care, I have flameproof underwear!


End file.
